well, obviously the title gives away what this series is going to be about, but you know me.. I love my background history.
we conceived Hannah in 2005 at age 18 and delivered in 2006 at age 19
we conceived Angel Baby in 2010 and miscarried at 8 weeks
conceived Maddie in 2010 and delivered in 2011 at the age of 23
That makes almost 5 years between the two of them... and it still felt like they were MAYBE two years apart.. I hate that they're that far apart
They love each other so much, and you know that melts a momma's heart
(20 minutes later).... man, this is hard
I hated that we waited as long as we did, but I was in school and Wes was furthering his career so the timing never worked out.
So that left me suffering with baby fever for I don't know how long
You see, it doesn't matter how young or old a mother is when she takes on her role, a GOOD mother loves her children, no matter how old she is
and because of the God awful shows like Teen 16 and Pregnant Mom I constantly have to defend my motherhood... even to my own family.
Who says I can't parent my children and train them to be godly women because I was a teenage mom?
Maddie will be 19 months in three days and I've had a pretty nasty baby fever for a while now...
Since we started practicing Natural Family Planning in April every month has been a wait and see, because even though I have faith in the science of NFP.. you just never know.
well this month I for sure thought I was pregnant and kind of had a small panic attack... because I wasn't ready... I JUST got accustomed to two kids and now I'm being thrown into motherhood again..??
I had full blown symptoms, nausea {but only when I was around certain things}, peeing a lot, cravings, what I thought was implantation bleeding, slight cramping
even though I didn't want to be pregnant
I couldn't be upset about the little miracle being knit together inside me
and even though I wasn't pregnant my mind was convinced
so when I started my period, I felt like I had just suffered an psychological miscarriage
I walked around in a funk all day
like a kid who just lost his puppy
after the realization set in that I wasn't pregnant {and Im not even sure I still believe it}, hubby and I sat down and talked baby prep...
even though we still don't want to actively start trying until February we have a lot of emotions to work through
and in case you're wondering why February, here's the break down
in this family of four we have March, June, July and December birthdays
I want a TRUE fall birthday so August and September are out because they are too hot
Our neice's birthday is in October and I don't like to share birthdays if I can help it
so that leaves November
I'd love a Thanksgiving baby :)
Maddie is an {almost} Easter baby and Hannah is two days shy of being an independence baby
I don't want this to be a temping and charting series... I want this to be a "here is where I am emotionally this week/month" series
Because let's face it... there's a lot to work out emotionally, financially, and making sure this family of soon-to-be five can work in a 3 bedroom house
Hope everyone has a great Friday EVE!
.JPG)
